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f0xface:

i’m afraid sex will sound the same as when you stir potato salad and that’s why i’m staying a virgin

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minxiekitten:

raubbenhood:

Disneyworld needs to make a rollercoaster based off of the ride Yzma and Kronk take to the lair. When the ride starts, Yzma’s voice yells “pull the lever, Kronk!” and the ride starts to move backwards so she yells “wrong lever!” and it shoots you forward.

WHY IS THIS NOT HAPPENING?!

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petewanks:

if u see me smiling in public it means im laughing at the jokes i tell myself in my head 

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